Season 1

you steal root beer and then lie about it, you’re trying to kill Aslan. And, by the way, you might as well forget about trying to turn a baseball card into a dinosaur.

doesn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to figure out the difference between Old and New Testaments. A water bottle and a little mercy go a long way.

’re eating a burrito and you notice a monster rose right over your shoulder. Just remember that yellow is for friendship.

bonus! When it comes to a good beard, there’s just not that much to be said. We defy this principle. (Feat. Dmac)

could be incense or it could be cheese in a can, but the moment you smell it you think, “I don’t know what it is, but I want it.” This podcast brought to you by Tide Bleach. (Feat. Dmac)

might be a video of a figure skater with overdubbed flatulence, but some things just have to be shared. “You can have your thing and we’ll have ours” is costing us lives, people.

you’re looking for silver or gold you’re barking up the wrong tree. You might be able to squeeze some breviaries out of us if your timing is good, though.

tweeted at you. Now you have an hour to figure out how twitter works. You should probably ask someone other than us.

Putin might be trying to infiltrate the seminary and kids are stabbing each other with tacks in Mike’s catechism class. We really need to work on our group energy.

you think we can put this Vatican up on Craigslist? Imagine how many five dollar foot longs we could afford. We’re going to be masters of divinity, after all. I think we know what we’re talking about, God.